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» Books » Avoid Resentment at all Cost: It Sucks Away Vital Energy

Posted by Alice Wheaton in Books , How the Top 10% Do It! , Self-Management Strategies for Optimal Performance

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Resentment truly eats up your vital energy. Let’s imagine that you are full of resentment and have somebody on your back with whom you are upset, and it’s only nine in the morning. Around 10 AM you allow someone else to climb on your back, and by noon, perhaps someone else as well. By three o’clock, you are exhausted and in dire need of coffee and donuts if you are to even make it through the rest of the afternoon. The workday ends, and you go home and, having carried all those resentments and people around, your energy is seriously compromised. Consequently, you are not as engaged during the latter half of your day as you would like to be but you comfort yourself that tomorrow evening will be different. The expression I gave at the office is truer than we might think.

With our energy compromised by resentment, no one can show up and be present in the way that they want—for themselves, their job, or their family. How does this energy drain come about? First, there is an event that we react to with anger and emotion. All emotions have an impact, whether negative or positive, and resentment is certainly a negative emotion . We experience an injury of some sort and that injury causes us to feel hurt. We feel anger that has no productive expression so it eats away at us and we begin to feel resentment. The resentment leads to feelings of self-righteousness (we can’t be resentful without being self-righteous). We perceive ourselves to be better than the person who hurt us, even if the offender simply had so much on their mind that they didn’t say hello or good morning. Some people can find even that to be an offence.

resentment is certainly a negative emotion

If you feel that someone rejected you, and you go through this cycle above, you are left with a choice: to feel self-righteous and bitter, or to forgive (accept what is so) and move on. When a person feels self-righteous and bitter, they cannot accept that not everyone (and, in fact, no one) can meet their expectations, so they follow the cycle of resentment to revenge. There is an expression:

“Revenge is something that is best served cold and on a small platter.”

Every time we attack someone else, we attack ourselves because it stresses our system. Our body’s response to stress is to flood our system with a hormone called cortisol. When there is too much cortisol, the immune system functions well below its peak and disease flourishes! Resentment is one of the instruments of fear and it is easy to feel resentment.

“I’ve had plenty of cases where people have said I won’t get very far because of the color of my skin,” he said Taylor. “And it can be damaging in a lot of ways.”

Taylor recalled being the only person of color showing up at various auditions at selective college conservatories only to receive rejection letters weeks later.

“It discouraged me quite a bit growing up,” he said. “But if you really love something and you have the right people in your circle, I think that’s one of the best ways to really push past that.”

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Taylor’s experience mirrors that of hundreds of other musicians of color — plenty of whom have gotten rejections of their own after competitive tryouts.

Minority musicians who manage to pass audition hurdles, like New York Philharmonic clarinetist Anthony McGill, often share stories of how difficult it can be to succeed without the right mentorship and preparation.

McGill, who joined the New York Philharmonic in 2014, is the only African-American musician in the ensemble, according to an orchestra spokesperson. While Asian-Americans have normally been well represented at the philharmonic and other orchestras, the hiring of blacks and latinos has been sporadic.

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Minority musicians want in as classical music struggles to diversify

Black violinist Sanford Allen resigned from the New York Philharmonic in 1977, telling The New York Times he " was tired of being a symbol ." It can sometimes take orchestras years before new minority musicians join, as was the case with McGill.

The alliance "provides coaching and intensive audition preparation experience," Rosen said.

But even with the benefits of coaching, there are still plenty of other factors that can impact the result of a candidate’s audition — like nerves.

With that in mind, the initiative also spends time teaching musicians how to focus solely on their performance while playing.

“There’s this gap many musicians have between sounding great in the practice room and having a totally different experience on stage,” said Dr. Noa Kageyama, founder of the bulletproof musician blog.

Some of the strategies employed involve distracting musicians with jarring videos as they play audition excerpts and studying how athletes cope with similar high-stress performance situations.

The process by which musicians are selected into orchestras has evolved over the years to include what’s now called a blind audition, where candidates perform behind a screen as judges listen on the other side.

Industry insiders say this is a step leading symphony orchestras have taken to make the process more equitable. And the results show: More women have been hired since the practice gained popularity.

Are you new to playing the violin? As a beginner, it’s important to create a strong foundation of which you can work off. Below, violin teacher Open Sneakers in White and Metallic Pink Calfskin Valentino 4XMZoH
shares five violin basics every beginner should master…

Congratulations! You’ve been introduced to the wonderful art of music through one of the most beautiful instruments, the violin. As you continue to discover this wonderful instrument, it’s important to slowly build your skill set.

After all, learning to play the violin can be intimidating at first, and you don’t want to get overwhelmed by learning too much too fast. Below are five basic violin techniques every beginner should master before moving onto more complex techniques.

Double Stops

The string family can do something that not many other instruments can: play two notes at the same time. Composers take advantage of this special quality very often, which is why it’s so important that you work on it from the early stages of your musical development.To master the double stop technique, start by playing only the lower pitch. This will help your left-hand muscles memorize exactly where the note is, giving you the basics to build the rest of the chord.

Once you’ve settle your lower note, repeat the process with the upper pitch. When your left-hand has learned all of the notes, start playing them together. At this stage, pay special attention to the bow. Is the hair touching both strings? Can you hear both notes with the same level of clarity?One last piece of advice: be patient. Double stops are a major part of violin playing, and they require continual practice and hard work.

Articulation is the clarity of sound with which you define each note. While a lot of it is generated using your right hand (i.e. bow hand), your left hand also plays an important role.Left-hand articulation will be particularly useful at moments when you’re playing several notes under a single stroke, like runs or grace notes. Here, you can’t use your bow to clarify the beginning of every note; therefore you use your left hand to make sure each one is clear and defined.

To develop this skill, you need to get into percussionist mode. Your fingertips will become your sticks, and the fingerboard will become your drum. Start with your index finger by moving it from the base, rather than from the tip. Make sure you can hear a percussive sound when your finger hits the wood. When you’re done with your first finger, move on to the next one, and repeat the process until you have practiced articulating with every finger.

Be careful. If you overdo this, you’ll not only diminish the quality of your sound, you’ll also jeopardize your muscles. An injured musician is an unhappy musician; so take care of yourself!

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